Minerva Interrupts Severus' and Argus' Special Mew-ment
by shadowhunter57
Summary: PUNS GALORE! McGonagall goes incognito & pretends to be Mrs. Norris to see if Filch and Snape are in fact more than friends. Crackfic. Related to "Out of Context - Harry Potter." "Minerva had heard rumours about Severus and Argus' secret relationship, but had never seen any evidence to back up the rumours. Today was the day that she was going to find out if the rumours were true."
Disclaimer: Severus Snape, Argus Filch, and Minerva McGonagall belong to J.K. Rowling. My friend and I just thought it would be funny to write a story about McGonagall spying on Snape + Filch. While you don't have to read "Out of Context - Harry Potter," it does provide a sort of background. You can find the link on my profile. Thanks to Sammie for helping me create this fic. Enjoy, and review if you like it!

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Minerva had heard rumours about Severus and Argus' secret relationship, but had never seen any evidence to back up the rumours. Today was the day that she was going to find out if the rumours were true.

After a few weeks of keeping an eye on Severus, Minerva had figured out what he did in the time between the classes he taught. Severus seemed to spend a lot of time in his potions stores, and while he seemed like the kind of person to obsessively organize (and reorganize), he never seemed to spend any free time anywhere else. After her last Transfigurations class of the day, Minerva sneaked downstairs to Severus' office. Dumbledore greeted her on the way down to the dungeons, and she tried to look casual.

"Minerva! You must come over for tea this weekend!" Dumbledore smiled widely, with a twinkle in his eye.

"What? Oh, yes… I would love to… well, I have to be going now," Minerva stuttered, hoping her nervousness didn't show.

After Dumbledore was well out of eyeshot, Minerva peeked around the corner and saw the door to Severus' potions stores slightly ajar. _He must not be doing anything too private in there since the door is open_ , Minerva thought. The students must just be making up rumors to fill up their free time. She transfigured into a cat in order to go incognito. She looked slightly like Argus' cat, Mrs. Norris, minus the beady red eyes and scraggly hair. Minerva was like the classy, well-groomed version of Mrs. Norris. She ruffled her hair and hoped that, if she ran into him, Argus wouldn't notice that she wasn't his beloved cat. Minerva snuck around the corner and pawed over to the door. Severus was talking quietly to someone, and when she got closer she recognized Argus' voice. Jackpot. She meowed and went inside the room. Hopefully this wasn't out of character for Mrs. Norris; was she banned from the potions stores? Well, it was too late now.

Argus leaned down and lifted Minerva up, cooing, "good kitty."

"Must you let your mangy cat into my stores? I don't want any of the ingredients to become compromised. Cat fur can do disastrous damage, you know," Snape said as he glared at Minerva. She hissed at him; how dare he call her mangy? She was regal! Well, she certainly didn't look her best since she was pretending to be Mrs. Norris, but still.

"If you have a problem with her, you have a problem with me," Argus replied, gripping Minerva tighter and stroking her fur.

"Oh, no… of course not. She will be just fine, as long as she doesn't walk to close to my ingredients," Severus conceded. "Should we get back to our conversation before your cat came in?"

"Errr… I guess," Argus replied nervously.

"Cats can't talk, you know. Nobody would ever find out about our relationship, if that's what you're worried about," Severus said as he patted Argus on the arm.

"Mrs. Norris isn't just a cat; she is special. I suppose you are right, though. She can't talk," Argus conceded.

Severus moved closer to Argus, and put his hand on one of the shelves next to his shoulder. "Well then, why not continue where we left off?" He asked Argus.

"Okay, what was I saying? How you are the most purr-fect professor I've ever met?" Argus replied flirtatiously.

"Must you use so many cat puns?" Severus looked dismayed.

"I'll stop if you really want me to… but I need something in return… I'm sure you can connect the dots," Argus raised his eyebrows and winked.

 _Oh dear, what have I gotten myself into?_ Minerva thought. She couldn't escape now. She was trapped, and who knew what she was going to witness? It seemed the students' rumours were true.

 _To be continued..._


End file.
